Are you tired of getting cheesy pick up lines from unwanted guys? We have compiled the best list of anti pick up line responses or comebacks. Use these at the right time for the funniest rejections.
|Anti Pick Up Lines|
|A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? |
B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?
|Are you a computer technician? |
Because you turn my hardware into software.
|Are you a dementor? Because you take my breath away.|
|Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.|
|Are you an erection? Because you're growing on me.|
|Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.|
|Are you free anytime soon? |
No. I'm very expensive
|are you from subway because you givin me a footlong|
|Are you from tennessee? Because it looks like your missing some teeth.|
|Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants|
|Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.|
|Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! |
I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?
|Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.|
|Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low selfesteem. I will prey on your poor selfimage for shortterm sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. |
|BOY: I love you |
GIRL: (sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit
|Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other |
Girl: It's already together dumbass
|Boy: my **** is 10 inches |
girl: mine's too
|Boy:Nice hair |
Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun
|Can I buy you a drink? |
Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
|can i buy you a drink? |
i buy you a taxi?
|Can I have your name? |
Why? Don’t you already have one?
|Can I have your number? |
I don't have one.
|Can I have your number? |
|Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?|
|Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.|
|Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.|
|Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?|
Did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?
|Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?|
|Did you fall from heaven? Because the ground around you looks like it's cracked.|
|Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?|
|Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? |
Yeah, but this time don't stop!
|Do you know karate? Because I wanna know if you can fight back!|
|Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.|
|Do you wanna dance?|
Yeah but not with you!
You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!
|Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong|
|Do you work for UPS? Because i could swear that you were checking out my package.|
|Do Your feet hurt? Because you've been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now|
|Does beauty run in your family? |
It obviously doesn't in yours!
|Does the carpet match the drapes? |
Do I look bald?
|Does this rag smell like chloroform?|
|Does this rag smell like ether? |
|Don't turn this **** into a murder.|
|Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?|
|Female=You Son of a B*tch! |
|Get your coat love.|
|Girl, I wish you were a car door, because I'd slam you all night|
|Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.|
|Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." |
Boy: "I'm gay."
|Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". |
Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)
|Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. |
Okay, get out.
|Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? |
Girl : No, why?
Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!
|Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar |
Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage
|Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? |
Girl: Ok sure
Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me
|Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, because I'd slam you all night |
Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?
|guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? |
guy: well your no help.
|Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. |
Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...
|Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. |
Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.
|Guy: What're you doing Friday night? |
Girl: Not you.
|Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. |
Girl: Really? I think you would too.
|Have you met Ted?|
|Haven't I seen you someplace before?|
Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
|Haven't we met before?|
Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
|He: Do you like aardvarks? |
He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...
|He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. |
She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.
|Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse|
|Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?|
|Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning? |
|Hey baby, let's play “carpenter.” First we get hammered then I nail you!|
You didn't bring enough wood.
|Hey baby, wanna make $50?|
|Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!|
|Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.|
|Hey baby, you must be a general because you're making my privates stand at attention.|
Hmm... They're still Major disappointment.
|Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? |
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
|Hey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? |
An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),while an adult female is about half that.
|Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? |
I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?
|Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.|
|Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? |
Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.
|Hey wanna smash pissers?|
|Hey you should let me have sex with you! |
Because I'm going to do it anyway!
|Hey, baby, what's your sign? |
Do not Enter
|Hey, baby, What's your sign? |
|Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason |
Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
|Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. |
..... in the antonyms
|Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.|
|Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.|
|Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.|
|Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? |
Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
|Him Would you like to dance? |
Him I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."
|Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? |
Her: (smiles) and says no..
Him: there is a good reaseon for that..
|How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.|
|How did you get to be so beautiful? |
I must’ve been given your share.
|How do you like your eggs in the morning? |
|How much does a polar bear weigh? |
I don't know.
Quite a lot, actually.
|I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. |
Aww, because I'm so sweet?
No. Because you're fat as hell.
|I can make your bed rock. |
Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..
|I can make your wildest dreams come true. |
I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...
|I can see forever in your eyes.|
But all I can see is never in yours.
|I can tell that you want me. |
Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.
|I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?|
|I have no gag reflex.|
|I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U|
|I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my **** is made of meat.|
|I know how to please a woman. |
Then please leave me alone.
|I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?|
|I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. |
Ok, then go out.
|I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. |
Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.
|I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included.|
Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.
|I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. |
First wish: don't speak ever again.
|I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.|
|I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.|
|I think you're the best looking girl in here. |
Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!
|I want to give myself to you. |
Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
|I wish my sister was as hot as you.|
|I would die for you…|
|I would go to the end of the world for you.|
Yes, but would you stay there?
|I'd go through anything for you. |
Good! Let's start with your bank account.
|I'd like to call you. What's your number?|
It's in the phone book.
But I don't know your name.
That's in the phone book too.
|I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant|
|I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. |
Clean my house.
|I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants 😉|
|I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? |
I'll start dialing 911 for you now.
|I'm all you've got cutie|
Then I must not have alot
|I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?|
|I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? |
Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.
|I've got a knife|
|I've got candy.|
|I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. |
I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours
|If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together.|
|If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.|
|If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. |
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.
|If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.|
|If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U togather |
Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put F and U together.
|If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.|
|If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. |
Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
|If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.|
|If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. |
If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
|If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?|
|If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?|
|If we were confronted, by a vicious maneating bear with chainsaws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.|
|If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.|
|if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.|
|If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.|
|Insert pick up line.|
Wanna get laid?
Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
|Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.|
|Is this seat empty? |
Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
|is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.|
|M: Wanna play dynamite? |
W: what's that?
M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.
|M:HEY BABY! Where you from? |
W: Im a lesbian..
M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?
|Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? |
Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?
|Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? |
Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore
|Male: I have a large penis |
female: so do i.
|Male: I would die for you... |
Female: Prove it
|Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather |
Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.
|Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together |
Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together
|Man Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? 😉 |
Wowan Hell no.
Man Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?
|Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." |
Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."
|Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? |
Man: Can I?
|Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? |
Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.
|Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? |
Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :).
Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?
|GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are? |
MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.
|Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long |
Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it
|ManAccording to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. |
WomanYes, I am!
ManDamn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.
|May I see you pretty soon?|
Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?
|My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?|
|Nice hair, can I pull it?|
|Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. |
Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.
|Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little|
I just did.
|on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?|
|roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, get in the van|
|roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?|
|Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you|
|Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!|
|So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?|
|So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?|
|So what do you do for a living?|
I'm a female impersonator.
|So, wanna go back to my place?|
Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
|So...wanna come back to my place? |
I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.
|That outfit looks great on you.. |
.. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag
|That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.|
|A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" |
The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.
|The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?|
|There's a 'U' in beautiful. |
Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.
|Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world |
That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.
|Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.|
|Walking to your car alone later?|
|Want to get on your knees and suck my ****? |
No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.
|What are you looking at?|
I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.
|What sign were you born under?|
|What would you say if I asked you to marry me? |
Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.
|What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?|
|What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?|
What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
|What's your name sexy?|
|Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? |
|When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...|
|Where have you been all my life? |
Hiding from you...
|With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.|
|MAN: hey, are you a gust of wind? because you blow me away! |
WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!
|Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.|
|Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?|
|Would you like to dance?|
Not with you.
|Yeah, with your blood|
Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red?
Yeah, with your blood
|you actually look alright with the lights on.|
|You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.|
|You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?|
|You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?|
|You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.|
|You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.|
|You look like a dream.|
Go back to sleep.
|You look... clean|
|You must be a parking ticket because you have fine written all over you |
You must be a wellfare check then.
|You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.|
|You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! |
...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.
|You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. |
You look like a rapist.
|You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you|
|You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.|
|You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.|
|You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.|
|You're oneinamillion. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.|
|You're place or mine? |
Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.
|You're so hot I'd do you sober.|
|You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.|
|You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear|
|Your body is like a temple.|
Sorry, there are no services today.
|Your body would look good in my trunk.|
|Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.|
|Your face must turn a few heads. |
And your face must turn a few stomachs.
|Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.|
|Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. |
Yea, I was running away from you.
|Your legs go clear up to your ass.|
Most peoples' do!
|Your place or mine?|
Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
|Your skin would make a nice coat.|