| A wizard is never premature. He finishes precisely when he means to. | |
| Are you an orc? Because you’re making my Sting glow. | |
| Are you Gandalf? Because you have me seeing fireworks. | |
| Are you the Ring? 'Cause I've got my eye on you. | |
| Baby, I'll make you scream like the Nazgul. | |
| Beard can be red; A blade can glow blue; There is only one precious, and that must be you. | |
| Boy, you’re glowing. Are there Orcs nearby or are you just happy to see me? | |
| Dammit, Elrond got caught looking up Orc porn again. | |
| Did it hurt when you fell from the Timeless Halls? | |
| Elen sila lumenn’ omentielvo. (“A star shines on the hour of our meeting”) | |
| Every teenage hobbit girl has been to Fuckleberry Ferry a few times. | |
| Excuse me, but are you Arwen? You are so beautiful that I think I have entered a dream. | |
| Gimli a piece of that! | |
| Girl, you're like a Balrog - smokin' hot! | |
| Girl, you’re glowing. Are there orcs nearby or are you just glad to see me? | |
| Hey baby, wanna blow my Horn of Gondor? | |
| I am no man. | |
| I can lighten your burden | |
| I don’t know you half as well as I should like, but I like all of what I see. | |
| I erupt like Mount Doom for you, baby! | |
| I gave her my sword. And my bow. And my axe. | |
| I last longer than Boromir. | |
| I love you more than Sauron loves power. | |
| I may be a fool. But I'm a fool in love with you. | |
| I may look really short, but that’s only CGI. | |
| I must be the ring and you must be Bilbo, because you’ve got me wrapped around your finger. | |
| I wanna go inside your hobbit hole. | |
| I want you in my hobbit hole. | |
| I would rather share one lifetime with you than face al lthe ages of this world alone. | |
| I'd like to have an Inn at your prancing pony. | |
| I'll put a ring on it! | |
| I'll take your Hobbit to my Isengard. | |
| I’d love to climb your Lonely Mountain. | |
| I’ll have you for second-breakfast. | |
| I’ll take you there and back again. | |
| I’m like Beorn — half man, half bear. Guess which part is bear? | |
| I’ve got a feeling you’re about to become my Precious. | |
| Is your name Smaug? Because you look like you have loads of treasure in your cave. | |
| It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations — so here’s what I’m doing later. | |
| Just wait until sunset — that’s when I’m going to open your secret door. | |
| Love is never late, nor is it early. It arrives precisely when it means to. | |
| My blade is never broken. | |
| My elf eyes only see you. | |
| My feet are bigger than Bilbo’s… and you know what they say about big feet. | |
| My love is like Lembas bread, one taste to get your fill. | |
| My staff is even bigger than Gandalf’s. | |
| No, that's not an oliphaunt in my pants, but thanks for noticing. | |
| Sauron’s gonna be after me because he knows I’ve found the one. | |
| Say girl, looks like meats back on the menu. | |
| So you're over 1,000 years old? I LOVE older women. | |
| That aromatic scent is my manflesh. | |
| The fires of Mount Doom aren't nearly as hot as you are. | |
| There are no words in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men to express how much I love you. | |
| This is no trinket I carry. | |
| TREE?! I am no tree. I am your future. | |
| Us Hobbits can bring you 'there and back again' over and over and over again. | |
| Want to come back to my place and smoke a little Longbottom leaf? | |
| Watch out, girl. I’m about to rescue you from Lonely Mountain. | |
| Were you born from Smaug’s mouth? Because you came out hot. | |
| Were you forged by Sauron? Because you look precious. | |
| What do you like for second breakfast? | |
| What do you say we go back to my place an light the beacons of Gondor? | |
| Will you be my precciiiiioouuuusss? | |
| You don’t know even it yet, but you’ve just found the One. Now let me get in your pocket. | |
| You know what they say about big feet.. | |
| You must be a Ring of Power, 'cause I want to keep you! | |
| YOU SHALL NOT PASS, until you give me your number. | |
| You wake something Tookish up in me. | |
| Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul Blade. | |
| Your salted pork is particularly lovely | |
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