119 Medieval Middle Age Pick Up Lines

Medieval is a time of adventure, kings, and knighthood. We have compiled the best list of Middle Age themed pick up lines for you to use. Use them when the time and setting is right. Use these age old pick up lines at museums, medieval events, or even dinner shows like Excalibur or Medieval times.

Add some flirty cheesiness into your encounters with guys or girls that share the same Medieval interest.

Medieval Pick Up Line
A day just wouldn't be complete without a Knight.	Copy This.
A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight would be pure misery.	Copy This.
And you thought the Romans had the only impressive aqueducts.	Copy This.
Been there, slain that.	Copy This.
C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.	Copy This.
Can I hose down your doublet?	Copy This.
Come up and see my scrolls.	Copy This.
Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the land.	Copy This.
Darling, these Trojans are rather painful. We may need some oil for this armor.	Copy This.
Do you practice safe hex?	Copy This.
Don't believe the rumors you heard about me. The Bubonic plague didn't affect my important parts.	Copy This.
Don't worry. If you kiss me, I won't turn into a frog.	Copy This.
Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.	Copy This.
Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook.	Copy This.
Excuse me, Milady, would you have a place where I may sheath my longsword?	Copy This.
Fair Maiden, you can scale my battlements any day!	Copy This.
Fair Maiden, your cups runneth over.	Copy This.
Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple?	Copy This.
Hey baby, King Arthur isn't the only one with a big round thing. How 'bout coming up and waxing mine?	Copy This.
Hey wench the rodent in my pocket wants to eat at your cheeze.	Copy This.
Hey, baby, wanna chain my mail?	Copy This.
Hey, big boy, how would you like to help this maiden out of dis-dress?	Copy This.
Hey, milady, if you think that horse is gifted.	Copy This.
Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?	Copy This.
Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?	Copy This.
Honest, milady, it will help clear up the pox marks.	Copy This.
How about coming around the back and giving me a good reason to come back from the crusades?	Copy This.
How about going out with a guy who doesn't have the plague for a change?	Copy This.
How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lus.. er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.	Copy This.
How'd you like to ride my stallion? He's well trained for battle!	Copy This.
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, and only you can quench its fire!	Copy This.
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, Dear Lady, and only you can quench its fire!	Copy This.
I bet you would look nice in some maternity armor.	Copy This.
I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke?	Copy This.
I hath done combat with many a beast, but I must confess that was the tightest situation I have ever been in.	Copy This.
I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.	Copy This.
I joust love you, baby!	Copy This.
I like the cut of your jib.	Copy This.
I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!	Copy This.
I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.	Copy This.
I may not be a priest, but I can take you to the heavens, princess.	Copy This.
I might have lost most of my limbs in battle but I've still got one left.	Copy This.
I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you?	Copy This.
I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?	Copy This.
I would wish a manly broadsword, not a pen-knife such as yours.	Copy This.
I'd rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you.	Copy This.
I'm from Nuremberg, but I'm a master at more than singing.	Copy This.
I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?	Copy This.
I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and "PUNISH" me, now won't you?	Copy This.
If I were a horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle.	Copy This.
If quietus you make, I'll bare my bodkin for you.	Copy This.
If the stars in the sky were as beautiful as the eyes on thee, then they'd be really pretty.	Copy This.
Is that a knife in your armor? Or are you just happy to see me?	Copy This.
It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.	Copy This.
It's not the size of the staff that matters, but the magic within.	Copy This.
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.	Copy This.
Like Marcellus Wallace, I wanna get Medieval or your ass!	Copy This.
Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.	Copy This.
May I show you a fascinating Saracen ritual I learned while hiding in a harem after Hattin?	Copy This.
Milady you can ride my horse. I must tell you, he's a wild one!	Copy This.
Milady, I heard that you were a chirogeon, I have something you can drain.	Copy This.
Milady, I'll be your night in shining armor.	Copy This.
Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.	Copy This.
Mlle. Darc, thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?	Copy This.
My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance?	Copy This.
My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice? For I may surely see myself within their folds.	Copy This.
My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.	Copy This.
My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.	Copy This.
No, I'm actually a wizard. Want to see my crystal balls?	Copy This.
Oh yea baby- black plague, leprosy, or scarlet fever- honey, I've got the cure for you.	Copy This.
Oh, my sweet Knight! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.	Copy This.
Paint on your shield "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and watch the wenches try to keep straight faces.	Copy This.
Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?	Copy This.
Pestilence makes the heart go wander.	Copy This.
Say, Princess, I'm very good at poking people with long pointy objects.	Copy This.
So...been to any good hangings lately?	Copy This.
Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.	Copy This.
Sword fighting is like _everything_ else : it's all in your thrust.	Copy This.
That's a nice chastity belt you're wearing. My blacksmith friends and I can help you out of it.	Copy This.
The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh..in a nice way of course.	Copy This.
The inquisitor: So, witch...up to you. Either you burn at the stake...or I use my stake to make you burn.	Copy This.
The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word.	Copy This.
They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.	Copy This.
They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.	Copy This.
Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!	Copy This.
Wanna polish my pike?	Copy This.
Wench: What's that sound? Knight: That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.	Copy This.
What a fine gown you're wearing, my lady. Perchance may I talk you out of it?	Copy This.
What a fine set of chalices you have.	Copy This.
What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, lass?	Copy This.
What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?	Copy This.
What's a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?	Copy This.
When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren't the only things that got stretched.	Copy This.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched.	Copy This.
Where am I from, milady? Nantucket of course!! Shall I prove it to you?	Copy This.
Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?"	Copy This.
Why storm the castle when we can make our own?	Copy This.
Why, I once speared 10 of them with a single thrust.	Copy This.
Wizard: You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.	Copy This.
Would thoust be interested in viewing mine buttshaft?	Copy This.
Would you care to see my longsword in action?	Copy This.
Yes, I am indeed a wizard. Watch me make your clothes disappear!	Copy This.
You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.	Copy This.
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.	Copy This.
You hit on me harder than the black plague!	Copy This.
You is know that chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.	Copy This.
You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down.	Copy This.
You know... I got my armor in Extra-Large just so I could fit the both of us in here. What do you say?	Copy This.
You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you?	Copy This.
You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.	Copy This.
You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.	Copy This.
You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?	Copy This.
You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!	Copy This.
You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.	Copy This.
You wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could sheath his sword, would you?	Copy This.
Your beauty has scorched a hole into my heart as fast as a dragon in the mote.	Copy This.
Your chastity belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.	Copy This.
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.	Copy This.
Your hovel or mine?	Copy This.