Medieval is a time of adventure, kings, and knighthood. We have compiled the best list of Middle Age themed pick up lines for you to use when the time is right. Use these age old pick up lines at museums, medieval events, or even dinner shows like Excalibur or Medieval times.

Add some flirty cheesiness into your encounters with guys or girls that share the same Medieval interest.

Medieval Pick Up Line
A day just wouldn't be complete without a Knight.
A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight would be pure misery.
And you thought the Romans had the only impressive aqueducts.
Been there, slain that.
C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.
Can I hose down your doublet?
Come up and see my scrolls.
Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the land.
Darling, these Trojans are rather painful. We may need some oil for this armor.
Do you practice safe hex?
Don't believe the rumors you heard about me. The Bubonic plague didn't affect my important parts.
Don't worry. If you kiss me, I won't turn into a frog.
Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.
Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook.
Excuse me, Milady, would you have a place where I may sheath my longsword?
Fair Maiden, you can scale my battlements any day!
Fair Maiden, your cups runneth over.
Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple?
Hey baby, King Arthur isn't the only one with a big round thing. How 'bout coming up and waxing mine?
Hey wench the rodent in my pocket wants to eat at your cheeze.
Hey, baby, wanna chain my mail?
Hey, big boy, how would you like to help this maiden out of dis-dress?
Hey, milady,if you think that horse is gifted.
Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?
Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?
Honest, milady, it will help clear up the pox marks.
How about coming around the back and giving me a good reason to come back from the crusades?
How about going out with a guy who doesn't have the plague for a change?
How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lus.. er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.
How'd you like to ride my stallion? He's well trained for battle!
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, and only you can quench its fire!
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, Dear Lady, and only you can quench its fire!
I bet you would look nice in some maternity armor.
I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke?
I hath done combat with many a beast, but I must confess that was the tightest situation I have ever been in.
I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.
I joust love you, baby!
I like the cut of your jib.
I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!
I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.
I may not be a priest, but I can take you to the heavens, princess.
I might have lost most of my limbs in battle but I've still got one left.
I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you?
I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?
I would wish a manly broadsword, not a pen-knife such as yours.
I'd rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you.
I'm from Nurenberg, but I'm a master at more than singing.
I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?
I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and "PUNISH" me, now won't you?
If I were a horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle.
If quietus you make, I'll bare my bodkin for you.
If the stars in the sky were as beautiful as the eyes on thee, then they'd be really pretty.
Is that a knife in your armor? Or are you just happy to see me?
It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
It's not the size of the staff that matters, but the magic within.
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.
Like Marcellus Wallace, I wanna get Medieval or your ass!
Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
May I show you a fascinating Saracaen ritual I learned while hiding in a harem after Hattin?
Milady you can ride my horse. I must tell you, he's a wild one!
Milady, I heard that you were a chirogeon, I have something you can drain.
Milady, I'll be your night in shining armor.
Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.
Mlle. Darc, thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?
My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance?
My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice? For I may surely see myself within their folds.
My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.
No, I'm actually a wizard. Want to see my crystal balls?
Oh yea baby- black plague, leprosy, or scarlet fever- honey, I've got the cure for you.
Oh, my sweet Knight! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Paint on your shield "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and watch the wenches try to keep straight faces.
Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?
Pestilence makes the heart go wander.
Say, Princess, I'm very good at poking people with long pointy objects.
So...been to any good hangings lately?
Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.
Sword fighting is like _everything_ else : it's all in your thrust.
That's a nice chastity belt you're wearing. My blacksmith friends and I can help you out of it.
The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh..in a nice way of course.
The inquisitor: So, witch...up to you. Either you burn at the stake...or I use my stake to make you burn.
The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word.
They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.
Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!
Wanna polish my pike?
Wench: What's that sound? Knight: That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.
What a fine gown you're wearing, my lady. Perchance may I talk you out of it?
What a fine set of chalices you have.
What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, lass?
What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
What's a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?
When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren't the only things that got stretched.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched.
Where am I from, milady? Nantucket of course!! Shall I prove it to you?
Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?"
Why storm the castle when we can make our own?
Why, I once speared 10 of them with a single thrust.
Wizard: You know, my hat isn't the on ly thing that's pointed.
Would thoust be interested in viewing mine buttshaft?
Would you care to see my longsword in action?
Yes, I am indeed a wizard. Watch me make your clothes disappear!
You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
You hit on me harder than the black plague!
You is know that chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.
You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down.
You know... I got my armor in Extra-Large just so I could fit the both of us in here. What do you say?
You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you?
You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?
You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!
You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
You wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could sheath his sword, would you?
Your beauty has scorched a hole into my heart as fast as a dragon in the mote.
Your chastity belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
Your hovel or mine?


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